Weston-Super-Mare 1-4 Doncaster Rovers; 250 word match report

Having been hugely let down ten days earlier – not by the postponement, but by the realisation the hosts’  mascot is a weird seagull, and not a big horse in a cape called Weston the Super Mare – we chose not to revisit the Somerset coast. Instead, we phone in this report from the sofa.

Whenever Paul Keegan has a goal inexplicably ruled out, you know it’ll be Rovers day – and with that lucky omen notched after two minutes, Doncaster duly defied recent convention to be all professional and stuff.

Curtis Main opened the scoring, turning a low Kyle Bennett drive into the net with an almost guilty nonchalance. Shortly after it was 2-0; Jamie Coppinger twisted left and right until he’d neatly amassed all the home defenders in a pile before hitting a low effort which Main again tapped home.

Press reports are inexplicably confused as to whether this goal was scored by Main or Theo Robinson. On BBC Radio, co-commentator Dave Mehew exclaimed, “There is one notable difference between them…” You could hear the producer, scrambling for the dead-air switch.

Coppinger made it 3-0; controlling the ball on his chest and before volleying into the far corner with a dreamy effortlessness, and in the second half Richie Wellens added a fourth from Bennett’s slide-rule pass.

The Seagulls grabbed a consolation as Liam Monelle bundled home a corner, but despite his comically eager sprint back to half-way with the ball, scoring three more in ten seconds proved beyond his team-mates.

by Glen Wilson

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