Colchester United 4-1 Doncaster Rovers: 250 word match report

‘Like butter through a knife, butter through a knife,’ yelled the fella behind me as Colchester ambled through the Rovers defence to score their fourth goal. Whilst Rovers had not quite been so bad as to reverse the laws of physics, they had plumbed new depths of awfulness in a torrid ninety minutes in which they managed to make the third tier’s worst club look like Barcelona.

In the aftermath of a defeat this awful it’s hard to comprehend  that for forty minutes of it Rovers were actually ahead; a glorious raking through ball from James Coppinger taken on and slotted home by debutant Gary McSheffrey. But even at 0-1 Doncaster never looked in anything approaching control, and all Colchester needed to do to make the game theirs was cease panicking and put their foot on the ball.

That they duly did. Giving the Us most creative player, Gavin Massey, the freedom of the Rovers’ left turned out to be an unsurprisingly bad idea as he skipped past Cedric Evina to set up Chris Porter for the equaliser. And from then on Colchester frolicked in the Easter sunshine with embarrassing ease; Elliott Lee and Alex Gilbey rained a glorious brace of long-range goals into Remi Matthews’ net; and Richard Brindley wrapped it up, with Rovers’ defence now merely a concept rather than an actuality.

A complete tactical failure from Darren Ferguson, coupled with a complete lack of responsibility or intelligence from the players on the pitch. Shambolic, shameful and indefensible.

by Glen Wilson

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